I work with Tom (gasbag) Kimball, who is probably the most demented person I’ve met. He’s also a lacto-ovo vegetarian, but he’s in fantastic shape. He routinely runs triathlons in the Northern Michigan and occasionally, Florida. Here is a list of workplace sayings that I’ve termed Kimballisms.

BLAME STORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

‘Twas the Night of the King’s Castration: the last of the Royal Balls was coming off. All the counts, discounts and no-accounts were sitting around the throne room slinging camel-shit, for in those days, bull-shit was as yet unknown.